Bad Day ≠ Slow Day

The one thing that nobody talks about within the holidays is the draining of your social battery. Don’t get me wrong I was very thankful and fortunate enough to see my family over the holidays, but this also required me to give up my own space for a few days while I couch surfed at my mom’s house. This resulted in absolutely no time for myself as family was constantly around and I had no time or space to just hang out with me. This absolutely drained me, and through the last couple days being back in my house I have been pushing myself to continue with the same energy I had before knowing it isn’t all here right now. This has required me to learn grace with myself more than ever before. I am getting frustrated with the lack of energy and not feeling up to do the things I need to do, also while knowing I haven’t been giving myself the time or space to regain that momentum. When I got home from my parents house I went straight into putting away all of my things and doing laundry and all of the miscellaneous things that needed to be done. This only drained me more than I already was, and I haven’t given myself the chance to actually stop until right now. I cried for a minute because I felt so drained and the events of the last week or so overwhelmed me along with the various tasks I still need to get done. All of this just to understand I haven’t given myself the space to recharge. I attempted in various ways I know how like going to the gym and reading only to be even more exhausted after the fact, emotional exhaustion will burn you out before physical ever does. I got upset with myself for not being able to do the things I need to do, yet haven’t given myself the energy to be able to do those things either. I spent a lot of time over the last week giving all of my time and energy to others and making sure I was where I needed to be at the proper time that I neglected the most important and vital part of my existence, me. Learning that resting and taking time to do things like write blog posts, read, journal, and what ever else feeds my soul is the only type of thing that is going to give me energy emotionally. If I do not give myself the time and space to recharge my batteries it’s going to be virtually impossible to get myself to want to do literally anything. I know better than to neglect myself and my time with me, but even sometimes I slip up because I’m human and that’s what we do best. The biggest learning curve I’ve had with self growth is understanding not all of these things magically happen overnight as much as I would like them to. I cant run on empty batteries and expect my body to want to carry on with me. I plan to spend the rest of the night working on literally nothing except for things that fill my soul and my cup first so I may be able to elevate myself and others better tomorrow. It wasn’t a bad day, just a slow one. The goal is to get the kinks out so that one day not a single thing can touch me.